Tag Archive | babies

Installing Child 2/2

There’s been a meme floating around on Twitter and Facebook about “uninstalling dictator” and I can’t be sure now whether I was using it before this to track the progress of my second child.  Being of a geeky nature, I have a spreadsheet to calculate the percentage for a given date, should all go to plan  (if I was a real techie I would have a Perl script for this).   As of today she is 90% complete, and due in a month’s time.

I’ve thought of some other computing/baby analogies:

  • You may have planned to install this product, or you may have just found the product installing itself one day.
  • In the future you may be able to do a custom build of your product.
  • When it gets to 100% it will stall for a while saying “Extracting Files” (thanks to Lewis for this one).  So you may have no idea when it’s actually going to be ready.
  • Once completed, the system will spend some time cleaning up your product.
  • You need to register your product within 30 days in order to receive benefits
  • You will spend all your time talking about and showing off your product, even though millions of other people also have one, or more of the same.  You will ignore all criticism of your product.
  • It’s recommended that you install an antivirus package, but you will still likely need regular fixes and patches.
  • Training courses and manuals abound, offering conflicting advice for problems.
  • You may also find some problems just go away after a while, or can be alleviated by the many leisure and productivity accessories that are available to buy.
  • You can apply various themes, but eventually you will have no control over these.  For example version 1.0 has suddenly come home with the Hello Kitty theme.
  • There are constant updates, each of which consumes more and more resources.
  • If you have the same type of OS on each product, you can reapply the updates to the second one.
  • There may be conflicts with other products, so it’s best to partition them off.
  • Eventually, the product will uninstall, but leave lots of little files around and you may later find further child processes in your system consuming resources.

Any more, please add them!